30 Life Lessons I Wish I knew In my Twenties and Beyond.

30 Invaluable Life Lessons for the next decades of your life.

When you’re in your 20s, you wish you’d known some hard truths about life; but you also know you wouldn’t have listened.

The following are 30 important lessons I’d learned the hard way, but wished I’d practiced way earlier along my journey.

May they open your eyes as much as they did mine.

30 Life Lessons I Wish I knew in my Twenties and Beyond

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#1. Unless you master money, money will master you.

This means that you must make a fundamental distinction between buying things you want vs. buying things you need.

One major life hack that has helped me save more money lately is cooking things I enjoy eating, as opposed to ordering take-out. (My old self used to not like this idea, but it’s worth it.)

This mindset shift has led me to do a complete 180: Spending less and saving more.

The truth is, it won’t matter how much money you make if you’re not tracking your spending.

You can download a free tracking app on your smartphone and review your finances weekly or monthly.

• Only put things on your credit cards that you’ll know you’ll be able to remember three months from now.
• If you had to look at how much was due and couldn’t even remember what you spent it on, then it wasn’t a worthwhile expense. 

So, start taking as much money as you can from your paychecks and save it, however small.

It’ll give you options.

#2. Before you do X, remove Y

What’s good planting without preparing the soil and removing the weeds? 

This means reducing spending before you focus on making more money.

It’s the same principle for any good habits you’d like to maintain.

• For example, remove the junk foods from your diet before you even think about the desire to lose weight.
• Declutter your room before thinking about buying more stuff. 
•  You’ll make more progress stopping negative behaviors than starting good ones. A not-to-do list is essential.

#3. Simplify and automate your to-do list.

Try not to let your workspace get grossly cluttered.

Research shows that a cluttered workspace negatively affects your mood and increases your stress level.

Giving your space a makeover will give you greater appreciation when you’re truly surrounded by items that spark joy when you look at them.

For me, I had to do a bunch of spring cleaning throughout the pandemic. The clothes that I no longer wear were either: donated, sold, or given away to family members who could get some use out of them.

I was on a cleaning spree like my hair was on fire. 

• I used phone apps like Mercari, OfferUp, Poshmark, eBay, and Craigslist to post items for sale.
• Donated clothes to Thrift stores, Goodwill, PickPurple, and the Salvation Army, ( I felt so much lighter. Like a snake shedding its skin.) Consider giving it a try. You won’t regret it, I promise. The third option is to:
• Giveaway to family members, friends, and your neighbors. You can simply leave it outside with a note attached. You never know.

Owning less is better than organizing more.”  ― Joshua Becker.

Nowadays, whenever I think about buying something, I pause and ask myself if I need it or want it. Simply because I don’t want to go through that pain ever again.

#5. Treat yourself as someone you’re responsible for helping

If there’s one thing the 2020 pandemic has shown us is that our health is our greatest asset. 

During that turbulent period, I would find myself diving into health topics, learning about the correlation between the inner-outer world, and how the food we consume affects our gut microbiome, for good or bad.

And so for this reason, one must “Make food your medicine,” as the saying goes, “otherwise, you’ll have to eat medicine as your food.“

What we eat determines our energy.

Therefore, If we eat crap, we will certainly feel like crap.

Health is our most significant wealth; without it, nothing else matters. During this pandemic, consider going on walks more.  Spend time with people you love. Shit, if you can afford it, consider getting a massage. Smile more, even though times are tough right now. Go to bed early. Pick a damn time, then stick to it! If mental health has been on your mind lately, consider seeing a therapist. Read more on the subject related to your situation.  And stay curious.

#6. Choose assets over liabilities

Assets are things you pay for,  that increase in value over a short or a long period of time. As a result, you get repaid with a tremendous amount of what you paid ( that is if you sit on your ass and not sell the asset immaturely.) 

Over time, that money will grow exponentially — accumulating more cash due to compound interest.

Some examples are Index funds, stocks, IRAs, 401K, Cryptos, Real Estates, art collections, NFTs, etc. Whereas Liabilities, where things you buy decrease in value over time.

Consider this example: $1 saved per day and invested at 8% return in the market becomes $141k at the end of 45 years (the average working career). $5 a day becomes $705k. $10 a day becomes $1.4 million.

As the author of a well-known finance book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad,—Robert T. Kiyosaki, put it, ” Liabilities get you into bad debts, while assets keep you out of bad debts.”

Understand that money can either buy you stuff, or it could buy you time, freedom, and options.

It’s not how much money you make. It’s how much money you keep. 

Put away a bit of money each month, however small you can afford.

Learn from people who already have a lot of wealth and apply their strategies to your own life. It’ll only be a matter of time before you make a huge leap in your personal finances.

Start working on these three fundamentals below to get the ball rolling: 

1. Increase your saving rate. 
2. Reduce your bills as much as possible. 
3. Invest in the difference.

Be willing to live the way other people won’t, so you can live the way others can’t.

Become obsessed!

Watch YouTube videos on stocks, money, and the real estate market.

Read money articles.

Listen to financial podcasts while cleaning the house, driving to work, or even doing the dishes.

If you do these things, you’ll be well on your path to F.I. (F.I. financial independence).

Last but not least, invest physically by exercising, eating healthier, and taking care of the body.

It’ll pay the best dividends.

I’ve written a summary of A Beginner’s Guide to Investing. If interested, check it out.

Disclaimer: This is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It should not be considered professional financial or legal advice. Capeesh?

#7. Commit to a daily action routine

Consider a routine that consists of daily action tasks.

Don’t let the randomneDon’t the day guide you.

Be aware of mindless—random actions that seem good to do but probably won’t get you to your end goals.

If you do things intentionally and persist; overtimes, this will lead you to where you want to be.

Small gains over a long period add up to significant outcomes.

For example, in his book, The Compound Effect, Darren Hardy writes:

“Since your outcomes result from your moment-to-moment choices, you have incredible power to change your life by changing those choices. Daily choices will shape your actions step by step until they become habits, where practice makes them permanent.”

We can’t be at our best every time, but we can certainly try our best all the time.

So, start working toward the things you want to do—today. 

#8. Done is better than perfect

As an upholder, I can easily be my own worst critic.

To this day, I still look at articles I’ve written and am confused about how they got attention. 

But lately, I’m starting to embrace this idea that things aren’t bad as we often seem in our heads. 

And as long as we give our best in our circumstances, that’s good enough.

In the words of Adam Osborne, The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake—you can’t learn anything from being perfect.

Don’t set out to be perfect. Just do the reps.

Think of goals in 5-year blocks, then show up daily.

Be at your best where you are, with what you have, then trust yourself in the process.

#9. There is no “best/right” option

I’ve realized along my journey that there is no “best” option” for what you want to do with your life.

If you find the right job that you are passionate about, that’s fantastic. If not, try something new. In some ways, we’re not like trees; we can move about. Therefore there is no “best/right” option.

You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”— Nietzsche.

Stay on the Experimental side of life because your childhood dream might be a trap.

Not everything will always go according to plan.

Boxing legend Iron Mike Tyson recognized that when he said, “Everybody got a plan “until they get punched in the face.”

So be ready to change plans and pivot when necessary.

Accept the things you cannot change, and focus on what you can control.

You’re on the right path if you fully apply yourself to whatever you’re obsessed with. Eventually, all tend to come together. 

#10. Pain isn’t an Accountable Sisn’tf Damage

Pain is a harsh, horrible teacher, yet a good one.

The more you connect your pain to something productive, the less likely you’d be tempted to ruminate on past failures.

We all worship something; the only choice we get is what to worship. — David Foster Wallace.

If you don’t like the story, you’re telling yourself a different story. 

For example, telling yourself you are a drug addict is a story.

Also, telling yourself that you used to be a drug addict but turning your life around is also a story. —same facts, different results.

Instead of being angry and frustrated with setbacks and injustice, accept what happened, then loosen your grip on it so that it doesn’t have the power to control or even manipulate you for the rest of your lives.

#11. Don’t knock the valley

The hardest part in our lives is often where the most power and beauty lie.

If only you care about the mountaintop, the climb will be rough.

When you stand with your two feet on the ground, you will always keep your balance”— Lao Tsu, in the Tao te Ching.

You’ll be happier if you the journey more than the destination.

If you can be grateful for how far you’ve come and excited about where you are heading… you are winning.

As American author Mark Manson said, “We need obstacles to overcome and problems to solve.

What makes us happy isn’t the problem itself but the outcome we obtain from solving it.

#12. It’s okay to fail if you’re falling forward

Failure is the reflection of expectation.

Without expectation, “failure” does not exist.

Being” afraid to fail can often lead to inaction.

I’ve made many mistakes. Now I see them as lessons to move forward.

The Master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.” —Stephen McCranie.

We must be coachable, put our egos aside, and do things differently.

Success comes from relentless improvement, and failure is our best teacher.

#13. Learn to smile in troubled times

Most people live miserable lives, going out of their way to make others’ lives just as miserable. 

They can’t laugh about themselves, get offended quickly, and take everything too seriously. As the Greek philosopher Aristotle reminds us, “Anybody can become angry–that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time, for the right purpose, in the right way–that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” 

Getting angry when life throws us a curveball is an easy choice.

I’ve realized life is making the most out of our circumstances, embracing the good and the bad as they come, especially when things get tough. 

It’s okay to feel these emotions; just don’t let them overcast on the forever light within you.

Train yourself to become a forward-thinker whenever life pushes you back.

Bad things aren’t here to stay.

So, lighten up, my dear friend, or at least do it for the cat down the road. 🙂

#14. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you

Who you let speak into your lives and who you turn the volume down on but still love anyway is essential when trying to carve your destiny.

Stoic philosopher Seneca believes true friends and life partners should inspire you to improve, become happier, and have your best interests at heart.

In addition, they should also reflect your values.

Otherwise, this may enable you to lead a better, more peaceful life.

Negativity is a vicious cycle.

To free yourself, distance yourself from negative influences— people who bring you down, have little hope for the future, or reinforce poor habits. And surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you.

As Jim Rohn, a motivational speaker, once said: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”

Find people who challenge you to be your best, even if they might not initially seem to be.

#15. Be unapologetically you

When someone says, “You’ve changed,” it may just mean you stopped living your life their way. 

Don’t apologize for it.

Don’t explain why you don’t eat certain foods, go to certain places, or hanging out with certain people. 

Explaining is draining. 

Your life belongs to you; you are the only person to decide its course.

Don’t change for anybody but you.

If you feel a certain way about yourself, change it for yourself.

Otherwise, let your beautiful imperfection shine through the world.

Be unapologetically you because life is just more enjoyable that way.

Learn to accept who you are and what you stand for because it’s something that money can never buy. 

#16. You Don’t need everyone to like you

Sale expert Grant Cardone once said, “Many people think in “terms of ‘I have to do what my ‘colleague/neighbor/family member is doing instead of ‘I have to do what’s best for me.”

Not everyone you meet will accept you, so don’t feel guilty for not pleasing everyone.

There will always be people who don’t like how you do certain things or understand why you do what you do.

In the words of NY times best Seller Ryan Holiday, “Ignore what other people are doing. Ignore what’s going on around you. There is no competition. There is no objective benchmark to hit. There is simply the best you can do — that’s all that matters.”

The world does not end when someone doesn’t like you.

#17. Stop chasing what you think would make you a “success.”

Have your own metric” of success.

Stuff won’t make you happy.

At least not in the long run.

Like any material thing, the novelty wears off after a few months.

Happiness or “success” is not something you achieve by acquiring more; it’s something you already have.

You’re a success the moment you wake up from the illusions you created in your mind.

Once you do that, you won’t have to chase success.

It’ll be a by-product of what you already know from deep within- your aliveness is already a success. 

After you’re done reading this post, go help a stranger in whatever way you can, you’ll see what I mean.

#18. The people that are holding you back mean well

Often, the people closest to you sense you’re taking chances, that you’re becoming a different version of what they used to… as a result, they might fear “losing you,” so they’d rather you stay the way you are.

And crazily that may sound, It’s all out of love.

But It’s the dark side of love. So beware.

I’d rather focus on how I can help others than to waste my energy on people who want to pull me down.

The more you sh*t-talk other people’s creations, the harder it becomes for you to create — Eric Jorgenson.

We could either please those people (and anyone else who thought they knew what was best for us) or follow our blisters and be happy.

Choose the latter.

#19. Close your mouth, and keep your eyes open

I don’t like to count my chickens until they’ve hatched.

Talking about your goals often puts unnecessary pressure on the task, forcing you to deliver on that promise prematurely. Often, when people asked me how the writing was going, I’d tell them, ‘Great, and kept it at that.

But the reality is, no one truly gives a damn about your dreams more than you do.

Entrepreneur Derek Sivers gave a TED Talk explaining why discussing your goals with others is bad. He says doing so, reduces your chances of following through to achieve them.

Basically, our brain subconsciously believes the process has already been accomplished, and as a result, it makes it less likely that we’ll persevere and follow through

As the Dali Lama once said, ‘When you talk, you only repeat what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.‘

So regardless of whether you have long or short-term goals, do less talking and more doing. 

#20. Every person you meet is wiser than you in some ways

Everyone around us has something they can teach us.

However, if you go through life thinking you’re the most exciting person in the room, you won’t learn anything.

Each of us is unique and experiences life differently. Once you realize this fact, not only will it humbles you, but it can also make you a better listener.

Working in service jobs in my previous years made me appreciate service workers.

They could be you; you could be them. Jesse Jackson once said, “Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping them up.”.

And you can always measure someone’s heart by how they treat others who can do little to nothing for them.

So be nice and empathize with one another. We’re all in this together.

#21. Learning to be alone is one of the most challenging but rewarding things you can do.

Your 20s and 30s are some of the best times to invest in yourself. And Just because you’re not in school doesn’t mean you should stop learning and growing.

Avoid this mentality of judging yourself as “good, bad, smart, dumb,” etc., and allow yourself to learn.

Robert Greene, author of The 48 Laws of Power, Mastery —amongst other bestsellers, has a beautiful concept he writes about called “Alive time or Dead time.” This means; we’re either—waiting until things happen to us each day = Dead Time. 

Or we take control and thrive on being one percent better than we were yesterday by learning, improving, and growing. = Alive Time.

In his book The Obstacle Is The Way, Ryan Holiday wrote:

We forget: In life, it doesn’t matter what happens to you or where you came from. It matters what you do with what happens and what you’ve been given.”

Being an independent thinker is one of the most important things you can do in life. With a bit of solitude, you can think for yourself and discover new insights that could assist in forming your conclusions about what’s possible. 

#22. keep a journal to write down thoughts and ideas

Here are some of the benefits of owning a daily journal:

• Captured pictures, dump out stressful thoughts
• Review Lessons, goals, etc 
• Acknowledging your Progress.
• Help you gain better clarity of mind and how to handle it better.

Write down ten brand new ideas every single day about anything you want. According to the writer James Altucher, it will help build your idea muscle, making you more creative to develop good practical ideas over time.

You can also journal about things that make you upset and anxious.

Brain-dumped these emotions on paper Instead of letting all these ideas and worries run around your brain.

Not only writing them down will help you feel lighter, but you’ll also gain more clarity and creative ideas.

Writing allowed me to get to know myself better and, in turn, redirect my life onto a different course. Writing in a journal can take a little time to get used to, but it’s worth it.

#23. Practice living in the present moment.

The past has no power over the present moment.” ― Eckhart Tolle

I grew up being taught that the future is where I’ll be able to find my pot of gold. As a result, I’d often miss out on the beauty of today.

I’d missed noticing how blue the skies were, how heartwarming a baby’s laughter was, or even how good my foods were throughout the day.  

If there’s one lesson I’ve learned from Sir Eckhart Tolle, it is that living in the Now is where exactly we’re supposed to be.

#24. Getting older Isn’t a bad thing

Seasons change in life.

We must embrace and appreciate them when they come.

Not everyone enjoys getting older, but it can be a wonderful experience if you embrace it.

You may not be as vigorous as you once were…but that’s okay. Yes, of course, I’m aware of the inevitable that often comes with aging, but that doesn’t change the fact that each season in our lives has its advantages.

Taking good care of your body and mind is crucial to staying fit, healthy, and feeling younger. And I can’t wait until 60 is the new 30.

#25. Avoidance of suffering is of itself; suffering

When we avoid suffering, we avoid the potential to grow into better versions of ourselves.

 In his wildly popular book, ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson writes: “Avoidance of suffering” is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The avoidance of failure is a failure.” 

People will always have something to say, but they shouldn’t influence what we do in the end. Doing hard things is not something to be worried about in life; it’s something to run towards.

#26. Your job or Career is not your everything

There’s nothing wrong with work, but too often, we allow work to consume our lives and get in the way of our life’s passion, health, and relationships.

I used to work for about four hours per day on my side project before going to my 9-5 job.

And I’ve realized having other income streams gives you options and comes in handy in times of crisis. At the end of your days, take better care of yourself, your family, friends, and smell the roses occasionally. 

#27. When in Doubt, Honesty is the Best Policy

It all comes down to accepting ourselves, our life situation, and being okay with who and where we are in this life journey.

The simplest explanation is usually the right one.— Occam’s Razor

Whenever we say yes with our mind when our body says no, we will lead ourselves further away from our path, telling the truth and being honest with people.

Become the person that tells truths regardless of your pride and reputation. Life can be so much more fun if we embrace telling the truth. 

#28. It’s worth the wait for the right person

You do not need a romantic relationship to validate you. 

So don’t be desperate or do things out of integrity to impress another being.

It’s a lot more painful to stay in unhealthy relationships or filling for a divorce. If you let anyone treat you disrespectfully, you must take full responsibility for your emotions. 

Life is too short.

Good decisions are never based on fear.

If your heart says no, let your mouth speak the truth because you deserve better.

#29. Patience is a virtue.

Patience is a virtue.

It’s a cliché we’ve all heard before, but it’s true. 

There is no such thing as “an overnight success.”

We live in a fast-paced world. Grown accustomed to instant gratification.

Hit a button on your smartphone; the package’s at your doorstep in a few days, if not within hours. 

And so we read a book or an article and anticipate we can master a new skill or behavior right away.

But things that are worth it take time. Patience, friend. Life is a marshmallow test. In the meantime, read more, exercise, meditate, and care for your mental health and well-being. You’re in this for the long haul.

#30. Give yourself something to look forward to.

I have struggled to build discipline countless times in my life. And it’d worsened during Covid. 

Writing takes a great deal of willpower and effort, and some days there is zero motivation.

But when you’re in a funk, the best way to break out of that slump is to do something, even if that means forcing yourself out of bed to run, do the dishes, work on a project, or take a long walk outside. Just give yourself something to look forward to.

Without creation, there’s no progress.

Instead of saying, “I don’t know, shift your thinking into I don’t know yet. 

This is why I love the philosophy of Sir Richard Branson, who said, “If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity, but you are not sure you can do it, say yes — then learn how to do it later.”

So even if you don’t”know where to start, the best thing you can do right now is to throw some shit at the wall and see what sticks.

Go all out.

Experiment.

Allow yourself to find something that’ll make you eager to jump out of bed with anticipation.

Small daily habits, practiced consistently, create clarity and better results over time.

So don’t give up.

Final Thoughts💭

Too many people read lists like these just to be inspired at the moment and never really apply what they’ve learned. So regarding lists like these, pick one or two tips that stuck with you the most; try that first, and see how it goes.

Trying to change many things simultaneously is almost always a recipe for no change. Instead, master the small habits until you build up momentum. Doing so will help you learn a ton of things in the process.

As Marianne Williamson remarked, “The challenges we face in life are always lessons that serve our soul’s growth.”

I wish I had stumbled upon advice like this in my early days; it would have saved me much stress and headaches.

I hope you find this list helpful as well as enjoyable.

Let me know what you think in the comments, and feel free to share this article.

Thanks for reading!