The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams [Book Summary]

The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams is a nonfiction meditation on enduring joy. It focuses on ways to cultivate joy in the face of widespread human suffering on both personal and collective levels. The Book of Joy was published on September 20, 2016, by Penguin Books and became an instant New York Times bestseller.

The Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu, each in his own way, have devoted their lives to alleviating suffering and helping others find peace and joy. On the occasion of the Dalai Lama’s eightieth birthday in 2015, the Dalai Lama and Tutu agreed to meet in Dharamsala, India, where the Dalai Lama has lived in exile for more than five decades. They convened a dialogue on joy, which they describe as the fundamental nature of all human beings. Without further delays, here are the 8 pillars takeaways from the book of joy.

The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abram, Summary and notes.

The Dalai Lama and Tutu, two world-renowned spiritual and moral leaders, have known one another for years. Although they have only met a handful of times, they’ve shared a close relationship of mutual affection and respect, each regarding the other as his “mischievous spiritual brother.”

By revealing how they each faced these challenges, Tutu and the Dalai Lama draw on their first-hand experiences to teach how to apply their philosophies to human adversity.

During the week in Dharamsala, the two men found themselves in overwhelming agreement concerning most subjects related to lasting joy and the role that human suffering plays in developing a joyous and happy mindset.

The Dalai Lama was forced out of his native Tibet by the Chinese government and had to leave his homeland behind to start a new life.

 
The Key Takeaways

1. Joy is the fundamental essence of all humans. It can be nurtured and developed.

Joy is an essential part of every human being’s existence. Nonetheless, people are often distracted by external forces, such as painful events or the acquisition of material goods. Keeping up with the social status often leads to unintended suffering and misery.

Regardless of these facts, It’s important to realize people can achieve joy by undertaking a daily practice of meditation, finding healthier, life-affirming perspectives on every aspect of their lives; and consciously developing compassion for themselves and others.

2. Gaining a perspective on pain and suffering is an integral part of cultivating joy.

To gain perspectives on pain and suffering, one needs to realize that you’re not alone. When people experience loss and pain, they tend to believe that their particular suffering is paramount.

Even if people rationally understand that everyone experiences pain, this awareness does little good if they are unwilling to actively adopt a more realistic and comprehensive perspective of the human experience.

People can do this by reminding themselves—others go through difficulties too. Therefore it’s for the best for one to turn their attention toward helping others. Doing so will lessen personal pain.

3. Compassion is critical to a lasting joyous perspective.

Rachamim is the Hebrew expression for compassion; its etymological root is derived from the word “womb,” a symbol of nurturing and development.

All people possess a “seed of compassion” within, which they can use to strengthen their concern for all of humankind, not just those they know and love. Generally speaking, being concerned for others leads people to give more generously and feel more at peace.

4. People can develop mental immunity, or control over their thoughts and emotions, by meditating and reflecting.

People are easily swept up by their emotions and thoughts about how a situation should happen or should have happened. It takes effort to counteract these thoughts and emotions and exist in a more joyful state.

This can be achieved by self-inquiry and by learning about how the mind works. With detachment, or resisting a close identification with thoughts and feelings, it’s possible to still the mind and gain control over potentially destructive thoughts and feelings.

Meditation, which promotes inner stillness, can aid in this process. Engaging in brief meditation can improve people’s emotional state who don’t consider themselves to be naturally mindful.

 The person feeling negative emotions can learn to be more aware of these thoughts and how they contribute to their feelings.  Changing one’s thoughts about a situation can shift an individual’s mood.

5. The best way to cope with suffering is to find meaning in it, which leads to joy.

Pain is inevitable. It’s part of our human experience to feel these emotions however we perceive them to be. Ultimately, it’s how we react to these emotional pain and sorrows that determine whether they will continue to create more suffering in the present moment.

Cultivating a negative outlook about how things are and how you’d like things to create a mindset that doesn’t support joy. But if you have something bad happen and then opt to find purpose or meaning within your circumstances, you will emerge empowered.

In his best-selling book, ” The Subtle art of not giving a fuck” Manson in-deeply clarify this notion, to which he stated, “The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.” Another way of saying, the best way to cope with suffering is to find meaning and purpose in it. Don’t let it go to waste.

6. Relying on others is key to cultivating joy.

Modern society is characterized by social isolation, which is problematic because people are social by nature. Human beings require friendship and companionship to be truly happy. By being close to and giving to others, people can increase their happiness.

By nurturing relationships, building trust, and being kind to one another, individuals can increase joy personally and collectively.

7. It’s possible to accept reality while still working toward change within oneself and the wider world.

A pessimist might think that developing a more positive mindset and cultivating joy is at odds with addressing the widespread suffering worldwide. He or she might ask, “How is it possible to be joyous when so many others don’t have the basics for survival or are being politically persecuted and slaughtered?”

Nevertheless, people tend to react positively to crises; for example, health workers worldwide responded bravely to the Ebola crisis at the risk of their own lives. There are nearly endless examples of people’s inherent goodness, even in the worst of circumstances. These are reminders of how responsive all humans can be, in ways both large and small, whenever they’re facing adversity.

8. Forgiveness is the only way to heal from past trauma and difficulty.

Resentment holds people in the past and steals their present joy. Finding forgiveness is essential to moving past pain. When others inflict pain, they truly injure themselves because all beings are connected. No matter what people have experienced, they have the opportunity to focus on human interconnectedness as a way to find compassion and more readily let go of blame and judgment.

Even if a person doesn’t ask for forgiveness, the injured party should grant it. The Buddhist concept of tonglen is one expression of this process; it describes taking on someone else’s fear and anger—regardless of their transgressions—and giving them love and forgiveness in return.

These reconciliations can serve as beacons for all people nursing pain and grudges. They teach that emotional healing and the resulting joy are not impossible even after the gravest kinds of hurt, aggression, and misfortune.

Recaps

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• 1. Joy is the fundamental essence of all humans. It can be nurtured and developed.
• 2. Gaining a perspective on pain and suffering is an integral part of cultivating joy.
• 3. Compassion is critical to a lasting joyous perspective.
• 4. People can develop mental immunity, or control over their thoughts and emotions, by meditating and reflecting.
• 5. The best way to cope with suffering is to find meaning in it, which leads to joy.
• 6. Relying on others is key to cultivating joy.
• 7. It’s possible to accept reality while still working toward change within oneself and the wider world.
• 8. Forgiveness is the only way to heal from past trauma and difficulty.

Another book you might like: An Appeal to the world: The way to peace in a time of division

About the Authors:

The Dalai Lama became the fourteenth Dalai Lama at the age of two and is considered the spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism. He has received the Nobel Peace Prize (1989) and the US Congressional Medal in 2007. He has authored several bestsellers, including The Art of Happiness (1998) and How to See Yourself as You Really Are (2006).

Desmond Tutu, now retired, is the Emeritus Archbishop of Southern Africa. In addition to winning the Nobel Peace Prize (1984) and the Presidential Medal of Freedom (2009), he played a pivotal role as chair of South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission. He has authored several bestsellers, including No Future Without Forgiveness (2000) and God Has a Dream (2005).

Douglas Abrams is an author, editorial consultant, literary agent, and founder of Idea Architects, a media firm dedicated to promoting just and world-bettering concepts. He has collaborated with Desmond Tutu on several books as a co-writer and editor. He is also a bestselling novelist.

This summary is not intended to replace the original book, and all quotes are credited to the above-mentioned author and publisher. Thank you for reading.