F*ck Feelings by Michael Bennett and Sarah Bennett [Book Summary & PDF]

F*ck Feelings by Michael Bennett, Md, and Sarah Bennett [Book Summary & PDF] One Shrink’s Practical Advice for Managing All Life’s Impossible Problems.

F*ck Feelings is a self-help book with practical point of view on the types of changes individuals can expect in their lives given a specific set of obstacles.

About the authors:

Michael Bennett: Michael Bennett, MD, is a board-certified psychiatrist who has been in private practice for 30 years. Bennett earned degrees at Harvard College and Harvard Medical School. He is the father of co-author Sarah Bennett.

Sarah Bennett: Sarah Bennett is a comedian and writer. She wrote for the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in New York and co-authored F*ck Feelings with her father.

The F*ck Feelings approach shows how to become more effective at managing life’s problems instead of poorly and persistently trying to change them.

Without further delays, here’s F*ck Feelings by Michael & Sarah Bennett.

…

 On SELF-ESTEEM

• Self-esteem is something a person can have too little or too much of.
• Someone who feels like a loser can still make good choices. Mainly, they must cultivate the habits a reasonable person would do in the same situation Instead of comparing themselves to others.
• Working hard toward being decent and avoiding confrontation with judgmental people is one way to boost your self-esteem. Granted, it can be improved by being open-minded about individual strengths.

SEEKING JUSTICE/FAIRNESS

•  Seeking justice or fairness can result in additional harm.
• Even though fairness is a noble pursuit, what seems like fairness can harm all parties involved when it results in negative feelings for everyone.
• In other situations of unfairness, the best strategy may be to reduce the negative effects as much as possible.
• Rather than avoiding opportunities to help, individuals should seek to involve themselves only in circumstances where their energies are not wasted.

 DEALING WITH STRESS 

• Avoiding stress and seeking inner peace may not be entirely possible.
• Realistic management of stress means accepting anger when it is unavoidable.
• Speak with caution, and manage your behavior through healthy habits.
• Some stress is unavoidable, and sometimes those stresses are pretty healthy for your well-being. Although some types of stress, like fear and anger that interfere with normal daily functioning, require special consideration.
• Severe anger, even among people who would generally love each other, cannot be reliably eliminated.Therefore that energy should be better spent avoiding situations that test each other’s patience. In addition, use techniques to manage the anger that results from hate.
• If irrational fear is the source of stress, then consider habits that encourage productivity despite the fear can eventually reduce the fear itself.

RELATIONSHIP

• Finding love and maintaining healthy relationships is a challenge often boosted by unrealistic expectations.
• It is also important to remember that change is only possible for people who want to change. And it’s equally important to know that sex should not compromise a person’s priorities and happiness.
• Some people prefer a high level of communication, while others are naturally disinclined to communicate.
• Healthy communication should have limits and respect for both parties.
• For some people, more communication is always better, and they expect as much as possible from everyone. For others, too much communication wastes energy and ends in hurtful yet honest, comments.
• No one can change how much communication someone else wants, especially when pushing a quiet person to be vocal makes that person uncomfortable.

 PARENTING

• Successful parenting can captivate a certain degree of anxiety.
• Parents can try to reduce risks as much as possible without blaming themselves for the unavoidable.
• It’s best to be cool-headed in a disagreement with a child.
• Parents should also limit how responsible they feel for a child’s decisions and remain positive and mature regardless of how well the parent/child relationship is going.

THERAPY

• Therapy is an option for individuals who can afford it.
• Other more affordable alternatives include exercise, an improved diet, support groups, and having supportive friends within reach.
• You must accept that life is hard, and your frustrating efforts are a valuable guide to identifying what you can change.
• To begin with, your personality, behavior, spouse, kid, feelings, boss, country, pet, etc. In most cases, you have not failed and do not need to try harder or wait longer for improvement to begin.

 DEALING WITH ASSHOLES

• Assholes can come in many varieties.
• In general, assholes use manipulation to get what they want above the considerations of others.
• Individuals should learn to accept assholes they cannot avoid. And avoid the ones that can be avoided.
• Dealing with an Asshole is difficult because logic is ineffective in convincing them how much harm they cause. These people often know how to push the buttons of people around them and they enjoy doing so
• Under those circumstances, finding common ground and setting limits on the relationship is essential.

This summary is not intended as a replacement for the original book. All quotes and insights are credited to the author and publisher.

Thank you.