Understanding the Power of Patience and Growth
“Wherever we’re trying to go, we do not bully ourselves there. We believe ourselves there.” -Leeana Tankersley
When I think about the lesson that took me the longest to learn, I realize it’s that I didn’t show myself enough compassion.
I used to think I had to be perfect and do everything right before I could actually do it. But I eventually realized that everything we do in the present moment is part of our life’s work.
It’s about improving our mindset, loving better, being a better partner, and just being a better person overall.
It’s about eating well, taking care of our bodies so we don’t struggle as we get older, and always learning. It’s about bringing light to the dark places in our lives.
These are all parts of our life’s work, and they come with great responsibility.
But without self-compassion, we end up being too hard on ourselves. We might feel weighed down by generational trauma, but if we don’t heal from it, we’ll just pass it on. As the saying goes, Energy doesn’t die, it can only be transferred. It only changes form.
So, unresolved trauma, big or small, gets passed down to others in our family, our neighbors, and our environment. That’s just how it works. The Canadian doctor Gabor Maté often says, the attempt to run from pain is what only creates more pain.
The Lesson That Took Me the Longest to Learn
Related post: Rage, Rage Against the Dying of the Light
Your enemy will pay you back with rage, will make you suffer, but the biggest damage to you will be caused by the rage and hatred existing in your heart. Neither your father, nor your mother, nor all your family can make you more good than your heart can when it forgives and forgets its abuse.” – Dhammapada, a book of Buddhist wisdom.
When we take the word compassion and break it down, we see that it is derived from the Latin words pati and cum, meaning “to suffer with.”
In other words, we can fairly say that it’s not until we know our own darkness well, that we can be present with the darkness of others.
Let’s say for example, something happened to you, where one or both of your parents didn’t show up for you, they weren’t there, or they had these incredibly high standards when you were nine or twelve years old…so when that is the case, then you’re basically stuck in time in your brain at those ages.
Now at 29 (my current age), I see things way differently than I saw them back then.
This journey is a process that may take a while to realize, but once you do, your next best option is to then re-parent yourself, creating harmonious relationships with yourself and the world.
Final Thoughts💭💬
Practicing self-compassion is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
Instead of being your own harshest critic, try to be your biggest supporter, especially when things don’t go as planned.
So, give yourself some grace.
Make it easier on yourself to bounce back from challenges when you slip up. Nobody’s perfect—and that’s okay!
American Buddhist nun, Pema Chödrön says it beautifully, “Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.”
So, that’s all I got for you today, thank you for reading, and I’ll see you in the next one.
This post is represented solely for entertainment purposes, it’s not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Thank you. @herbeegee on IG & Thread F4F♍🗣️👥🫂💙🌊🐟📘🐦
