“Wherever we’re trying to go, we do not bully ourselves there. We believe ourselves there.” -Leeana Tankersley

When I think about the lesson that took me the longest to learn, I realize it’s a lack of self-compassion. Like, I thought I was supposed to do things before it was possible to do them, but I soon realized that everything that we’re doing in the here and now Is our life’s work. Like, It is our life’s work to improve our mindset.

To love better. To be a better life partner. A better human being. To eat better. To maintain this vessel so that it doesn’t trouble us as much in old age. To always be learning. To put light in places where it’s dark… All of these, ladies and gentlemen, are our life’s work. These are indeed, great responsibilities. Without self-compassion however, we’d start to treat ourselves harshly. Somehow we feel infected by generational trauma, and yet, if we don’t transform those sufferings, we’ll be forced to transmit it.

Energy doesn’t die, as the old saying convincingly points out, it can only be transferred. In other words, this e-motion (energy-in-motion) changes from one form into another form of energy.

Unresolved trauma for instance, (big or small) has no other choice but to pass down to family, neighbors, and to the environment, ―that’s just how it goes. The attempt to escape from pain, says Canadian physician, Gabor Maté, is what creates more pain.

The Lesson That Took Me the Longest to Learn

Related post: Rage, Rage Against the Dying of the Light

Your enemy will pay you back with rage, will make you suffer, but the biggest damage to you will be caused by the rage and hatred existing in your heart. Neither your father, nor your mother, nor all your family can make you more good than your heart can when it forgives and forgets its abuse.” – Dhammapada, a book of Buddhist wisdom.

When we take the word compassion and break it down, we see that it is derived from the Latin words pati and cum, meaning “to suffer with.”

In other words, we can fairly say that it’s not until we know our own darkness well, that we can be present with the darkness of others.

Let’s say for example, something happened to you, where one or both of your parents didn’t show up for you, they weren’t there, or they had these incredibly high standards when you were nine or twelve years old…so when that is the case, then you’re basically stuck in time in your brain at those ages.

Now at 29 (my current age), I see things way differently than I saw them back then. There’s no mistake which I’ve not already made.

It’s a process that may take a while to realize, but once you do, your next best option is to then re-parent yourself, creating harmonious relationships with yourself and the world.

Final Thoughts💭💬

Practicing self-compassion is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

Instead of being your own harshest critic, try to be your biggest supporter, especially when things don’t go as planned.

So, give yourself some grace. Make it easier on yourself to bounce back from challenges when you slip up. Nobody’s perfect—and that’s okay!

American Buddhist nun, Pema Chödrön says it beautifully, “Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.”

So, that’s all I got for you today, thank you for reading, and I’ll see you in the next one.

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This post is represented solely for entertainment purposes, it’s not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Thank you. 📘🐦