Option B by Sheryl Sandberg on Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy. [Book Summary]

“Life is never perfect. We all live some form of Option B.” ― Sheryl Sandberg

Option B by Sheryl Sandberg, former COO of Meta (Facebook, Instagram), is a tech leader, philanthropist, and author. In Option B, she shares her journey through grief after losing her husband, Dave, and how she and her family found resilience.

 After the sudden loss of her husband, Sheryl teamed up with psychologist Adam Grant to explore how we too can navigate grief, build resilience, and find joy again—especially when life doesn’t go according to plan (which, let’s be honest, it rarely does).

Option B isn’t solely about loss, it’s also about how we can keep going, and growing in spite of adversities, and learning to embrace the life we didn’t expect.

The book is filled with helpful advice for anyone going through a hard time. It shows you how to keep going—and maybe even grow—after life throws you off track.

Without further delays, let’s jump into it.

Option B: Key Takeaways on Resilience and Joy

1. Supporting Others Through Loss

“One of the most helpful things you can do for someone going through a tough time,” says Sandberg, “is to simply acknowledge their pain.”

Skip the bullsh*t clichés like “Everything happens for a reason,” and instead say something real with a mix of empathy, like “I see what you’re going through, and I’m here for you.”

That kind of honesty, explains Sandberg, can mean everything to someone going through a tough time. 

Sheryl realized that grief doesn’t just bring sadness, it also shakes your confidence in ways you didn’t see coming.

When her husband died, she expected the sadness, the loneliness, and the anger. What she didn’t expect was how trauma cast shadows on her confidence in other parts of her life. She writes, “One loss can trigger another, making you question your abilities in areas that have nothing to do with the original pain.“

She emphasizes the idea of putting those feelings into words to give yourself power over them. And while we all have a choice about when and how to express our emotions, studies show that opening up about trauma can actually improve both mental and physical health.

“Sometimes,” says Sheryl, “we have less control than we think. But other times, we have more. And if we don’t believe growth is possible, we won’t find it.”

2. Building Resilience

Resilience isn’t just about inner strength, says Sheryl, it comes from the support we receive too. It’s not just personal—it’s something we build together by supporting one another. And when we use well-meaning words—like “It’s going to be okay.” She explains that this can actually make things worse. Instead, she suggests saying: “I don’t know what’s going to happen, but you won’t go through this alone.” 

Resilience comes from within, but it also comes from the people around us. It’s about being grateful for the good in life while also leaning into the suck—accepting the grief rather than running from it. As Buddhism teaches us, all life involves suffering. Aging, sickness, and loss are inevitable. Even joy, no matter how much we try to hold onto it, fades with time. But once we accept this truth, suffering loses some of its power over us.

And as the French-Algerian philosopher, Albert Camus remarked, “In the depths of winter, I learned that within me lay an invincible summer.”

Resilience grows when we find meaning in the mess.

When we lean on each other.

And when we believe in a future that isn’t here yet—but could be.

As Sheryl explains, “Suffering stops being just suffering when it has meaning.” And resilience is built through hope. Not just individual hope, but collective hope. By creating a shared identity, people can come together and build hope as a group.

3. Finding Joy in Hard Times

Sheryl reminds us that seeking joy after facing adversity is taking back what was once stolen from you.

“Sometimes,” says Sheryl, “it takes going through something so awful to discover the beauty that is still out there in this world.”

Growing up, Sheryl was taught to follow the golden rule—treat others as you want to be treated. But when someone is suffering, she suggests following the platinum rule instead:

Treat others as they want to be treated.

This means tuning in, showing up, and taking cues from the person in pain.

Another great key takeaway from the book is the importance of self-compassion. A lot of people confuse it with self-pity or being soft on yourself, but that’s not what it is at all.

To Sheryl, self-compassion means understanding that being human comes with flaws, setbacks, and tough days. So when we mess up, instead of beating ourselves up, we should give ourselves some grace.

That also means letting ourselves enjoy life when we can. Laughing, taking a break–those things aren’t selfish. They’re actually small acts of self-compassion. Just like we’d be kind to someone else who’s struggling, we need to do the same for ourselves.

She reminds us that, life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.

Rather than waiting until we’re happy to enjoy the small things, Sheryl advised that we should go and do the small things that make us happy-even when things don’t make sense right away. As Sheryl frames it, “Peace is joy at rest, and joy is peace on its feet.” 

Action Steps: Simple Ways to Move Forward

• Write down three joyful moments each day.

• At night, ask yourself: “What’s one small thing I did well today?”

• Notice your contributions. Don’t chase perfection—just show up.

Believe you have value, and you’ll naturally start to share it with others.
As Sheryl says:

“Believe you matter, and you’ll spend more time helping others—making you matter even more.

Final Thoughts

If you’re in a hard place right now, Option B won’t magically fix everything. But it will remind you you’re not alone—and that you’re stronger than you think.

Sheryl writes, “Looking at the rows of headstones, it’s clear—we all end up in the ground. So each day has to count.”

Even when happiness felt a million miles away, she knew one thing:

She had survived, her kids are still alive, and that counts for something.

So if Option A is no longer on the table, Sheryl would says:

“Let’s kick the sht out of Option B.”

…

This book is heartfelt, honest, and quietly powerful.
If you or someone you care about is going through grief, loss, or a tough chapter right now, give this book a read.
It could be exactly what you need to start picking up the pieces, moving forward and start your healing journey.

…

Sheryl Sandberg is an American tech executive, philanthropist, and author. She served as the COO of Meta (formerly Facebook) until stepping down in August 2022. She’s also the founder of LeanIn.org. Helping women achieve their ambitions and work toward gender equality.

In Option B, Sheryl opens up about the heartbreaking loss of her husband, Dave, and how she and her family found ways to cope, heal, and rebuild their lives.

Thanks for reading, and I’ll catch you in the next book breakdown.